I have spent the last 6 days running all over the Midwest. It’s the perfect time, really, because the tree leaves are changing colors and the air feel chilly but crisp. I am luckily not here while there is snow or ice.
And on this tour around the Midwest, I have been facilitating self care bootcamps for religious professionals and ministers. It is such a joy for me to provide care to professional caregivers. And I’m learning so much about how we take care of ourselves (we don’t) and how we prioritize setting boundaries (we don’t do that well).
Here are a few things I’ve learned and noticed:
We know what we need to do and we need someone else to make us do it. Yes, consent is important, I only go where I am called.
We prioritize others because it’s easier to to encourage other people to take care of themselves. This one made me cackle in shame. This is me. AND, this is every caregiver ever. We don’t have to think about what we need when we are focused on others needs. But guess what? You still have needs, friends! They don’t go away!
Boundaries are hard because we want to be nice and to be liked. This never goes away, but asking ourselves why our boundaries are so hard to place can be a good way to find balance.
We love rules and boundaries placed on ourselves. I can’t tell you how often I give instructions for an art activity and immediately I have 3 questions on how to format it properly. If you’ve ever attended any of my workshops or retreats, you know the answer.
Fancy is not as important as accessible. All of the activities and prompts I offer are things that anyone can do with a bare minimum of a piece of paper and a pen. For all of my stickers and washi tape and metallic pens, the work that means the most is just a person with an idea sharing on paper.
We have to keep talking about self care, and we have to also talk about community care. We don’t often get to see our colleagues, maybe 2x a year. We have been lucky enough to have better connections through Zoom, but we can’t do this work alone. There are no number of Lush bath bombs that will cure isolation (I know from personal and financial experience on this one.)
And so much more. We are beautiful, complicated humans and sometimes, we need an outside force to remind us what we hold inside.
So these bootcamps, whether 90 minutes or 8 hours over 2 days, are essential for us to build good boundaries and care for ourselves and each other. It is how we thrive!